Tuesday, January 02, 2007

This is Susanna

Susanna had breast reduction surgery when she was sixteen. I took these photos in her west coast living room. This is Susanna's story:

I had breast reduction surgery two weeks before my seventeenth birthday. I come from a long line of large-breasted women: my mother is southern Italian, and all the women on her side of the family are short, dark, and huge-chested. By the time I was sixteen, my breasts were gigantic beyond the A-DD scale. I wore XXL sports bras with the straps cut and sewn shorter.

I hated having huge breasts. I felt cheated by them: I had all the downsides of big boobs – back pain, difficulty fitting into clothes and bras, unwanted attention from men – with none of the upsides. Squashed into too-tight sports bras, my breasts looked like one giant uni-boob on the front of my body – decidedly not sexy. I could never wear spaghetti-strap or halter tops to show off my chest, because skimpy tops wouldn’t conceal my huge and unattractive bras.

After surgery, once the pain wore off and the bandages were gone, I felt terrific. I can’t resist saying that I felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders – emotionally and physically, I really did. I remember the first normal bra I wore. It was black with grey flowers on it. I was thrilled. I kept flashing everyone my new breasts – I finally felt like they were sexy.

The initial elation was a great self-esteem boost, but it didn’t erase my body issues completely. When I showed my new breasts to a male friend, with whom I had been in complicated sexual relationship for a while and whose approval I was desperate for, he poked them disinterestedly and said, “I thought they’d be perkier.” I remember that moment so clearly, how crushed and mortified I felt.

Post-surgery, my breasts were down to a C-cup. Unfortunately, I wasn’t completely done puberty yet, and in the years following my surgery, my breasts kept growing. My breasts are now too big to fit into normal North American bras so I order them online from the UK. I often think about getting surgery again. I am jealous of friends who can go without bras. It seems so freeing, so comfortable and sexy. But generally I feel good about my breasts, scars and all. I don’t think my scars are ugly or weird-looking; in fact, they make me feel a bit special. Like my boobs are uniquely mine.


Anonymous said...

These are very intimate. I like them.

Looking at them, I felt like i was intruding. They are non-sexualized somehow...interesting.

Carolyn said...

I have to ask. What type of technique did the doctor do? It doesn't look like it left a scar at all. Did you get the vertical scar technique? the wise pattern? I am very interested in getting this procedure done as well and I thought I'd ask a woman who has already gone through it.

Anonymous said...

I have these exact same problem...my moms side of the family are also italian descent, short, tan, and large breasted. I hate having DD at 18 years old. Guys say thing to me all the time. I've cried many times over them. They just don't fit my personality at all. I'm not the kind of girl that shows my body off and its hard to hide them even in a t-shirt. Many guys say things to me about how big my breasts are along with my girl friends, like i don't already know. None of them understand what it's like and tell me i'm lucky... They also don't make a lot of "pretty" bras in my size, so i feel a bit excited when i can find a pink or yellow bra. I'm 18 and im wearing beige bras with thick straps so i don't hurt my shoulders and leave red marks on them. I did find a cheetah print one! and it's really cute but i still bulge out a bit.. I have thought about this procedure many times, but i don't know if it will go any farther than that..

Anonymous said...

this story has completely uplifted me.

i am eighteen and i wear a 28G bra and would give almost anything to have them REMOVED. i am saving up to have this procedure done. :) i will do it and i know that the scars will be beautiful and will be *part* of me.

Anonymous said...

I completely empathize with you all. I'm 4'11" and I wear a DD cup. I have a very tiny frame so my already large breasts look even larger on me. After age 16 it became nearly impossible to find a cute bra that fits me. They barely make 32 DD as it is and when I find one it never has padding, the straps are thick and it covers my entire breast. Don't even get me started on bathing suits. People who have small breasts don't understand what a burden large breast can be. I stopped playing most sports because of how uncomfortable I was with my breasts. Around a year ago I finally came to terms with them and decided to just accept it. The problem is I am accepting my 20 year old breasts...god knows what they will look like in 5 or 10 years after having kids. I've thought about surgery countless times but i'm terrified of having this procedure done only to watch them gradually grow back to DDs.

Anonymous said...

thank you for this :-). it has really swayed me to get this procedure. I am 18 with a a 30GG (UK) bra size and also a size 6-8!!.. i have looked into it before and know i can get it free due to my BMI - what swayed me was the scars, but your's are hardly notceable, although it has been a few years since you had the procedure done i know that it wouldn't be a problem, so thank you :) x